BLOG 7 Black Holes of Depression

Depression can be one of those tricky black holes in our human experience. It's neither here (anger), nor there (sadness). Depression can feel like a preferable place to hang out for a while when we're not comfortable with either of those other two emotions. Infrequently, I have spent time with clients who described themselves as depressed, detached, uncaring, and hopeless. Working with those clients resulted in our finding an exciting new discovery together, that became a springboard out of the black hole they called depression and into the light of day that’s always waiting for us when we are willing to surface into love.

Often what we experience as a “numbing-out” sensation may not be classified as clinical depression at all, but rather a periodic emotional overload, laced with understandable responses from devastating loss, such as that of a loved one or close friend. Sometimes we feel so completely detached from the sources of love and support that are all around us that it feels like hopelessness is the only emotion we have left.

Our willingness is the key here. Our human intent, that which has infinite organizing capacities, will function as the bridge between overwhelming despondency and regaining aliveness again.

Remember that old/new age line: Fake it till you make it?

We’ve all got this juicy imagination; the kind that, when we were children, could literally envision the cerulean blue fenders and exact number of shiny spokes on the wheels of that Schwinn bicycle we wanted for Christmas. We had to see it first to get it.

What would it take to begin, right now, to use your colorful, specific imagination to envision what it would like to reacquaint yourself with the love that is all around you, just waiting for you to raise your hand up and say, “Pick me!”

You have nothing to lose.

BLOG 6 INSECT VS. BUG

Recently I have had an exquisite communication challenge come up with a beloved friend. And, it got me to thinkin’, as another cherished amiga would often say before sheer diamonds of wisdom would flow out of her mouth. What I realized within this particular challenge was that we humans often will point to the same thing, but call it differently. A small arthropod, crawling across a picnic table might be called an insect by one person, while another person will insist that it’s a bug. You see, they’re saying the same thing, looking at the same thing, but, as often happens when we need to be right, getting stuck in their own perspective as the ONLY perspective. And then, for emphasis we seek agreement from a bunch of our friends who dutifully agree that, “Yes, that there’s a bug.” While the other brings in a bunch of their well-meaning friends who climb aboard the agreement wagon by affirming, “Nosirree, that’s an insect.”

Wars between nations and between loved ones are fought from essentially the same confused interaction.

On the whole (underneath all the acts of bravado, control avoidance, hyper-sensitivity and other delusional human expressions) every single human being wants the same thing: a feeling of being loved, freedom to love in our own unique way, feeling safe in our environment, nourished in body, mind and soul, and a having a deep trust that our existence makes a difference in the world; that we matter and are valued.

Those last two desires can get a bit tricky when there is an underlying core belief that we don’t matter. A carnival of venerating fans could camp on your doorstep waving bright red, heart banners, disclosing their eternal adoration for you, but if there’s even a sliver of a belief that you don’t matter, you’ll find their actions suspicious. At best.

What would happen if you simply allowed yourself to connect to the deepest heart in another, trusting that they, like you, want the same thing? And then, act from that truth. Because it is.

You have nothing to lose.